


Red Is Always In The Blood

by Discussed_Literature



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Because it is Grif after all, Eating Disorders, Humor, Insomnia, M/M, Post S11, Pre S12, Smoking, abuse of MRE's, but only vaguely mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:11:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7557871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Discussed_Literature/pseuds/Discussed_Literature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grif decides that a sleepless night on a war torn planet can only end with a joyride. After all, when a world depends on you to be its saviors it's nice to find some time to stop being so serious for a change.</p><p>Simmons may take a little convincing of that philosophy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Is Always In The Blood

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this for months now. I'm still not sure if I'm happy with it but hell, I love this couple and its about time I wrote something for them. So here it is, an angsty thing about two boys in over their head and coping as best they can (which is to say, not very well).  
> There are warnings for some talk of eating disorders, but nothing explicit, and there is smoking.
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

He can't sleep. Which, for a guy that prides himself on being the laziest marine this side of the galaxy, was a problem.

Grif throws a hand over his eyes before deciding ‘fuck it’ and heads to the data pad on his desk to shoot off a quick message. He hastily puts on his armour and heads down the hallway to a room not close enough for comfort. The eerie red lighting used for after hours in the sleeping quarters illuminates his path before he stops outside a familiar door. He forgoes knocking and simply enters, marching straight up to the sleeping man inside.

Though sleeping was probably a generous term. Simmons lay muttering to himself, moaning in distress as he tossed and turned fitfully. The dim light from the hallway falls onto his form and seems to swallow him up, reflecting upon the metallic half of his face until it resembles an open wound. Grif is relieved when his shadow eclipses the glow and Simmons is no longer the focus of the light, features returning to a steely grey.

Grif shakes him gently, and when that has no effect he huffs in frustration before grabbing the pillow under Simmons’ head and whacking him in the face with it. Simmons lets out a panicked squeal and flails around, effectively falling off the bed and into a heap on the floor.

“What the- Grif?!” he squeaks out, glaring up at the other man. Grif just raises an eyebrow and smiles (not that Simmons could see it with his helmet on), dropping the pillow onto Simmons head again who swats it away angrily.

“Up and at ‘em Dick. Get dressed.”

“Grif what’s happening? Does Kimball need us?” he asks, voice rough but worried, detangling himself from the bedsheets twisted around his legs and standing up, forehead creased.

“Nah, come on,” he just says vaguely. Simmons, now free from the comforter and standing upright, looks down in confusion at the shorter man.

“Then why did you wake me up?”

“Eh, bored I guess. Lets go,” Grif shrugs. Simmons glare returns full force.

“Are you kidding me? It’s the middle of the night! You shouldn’t be bored, you should be sleeping! Just like _I _should be sleeping!” He angrily picks up the duvet and pillow and tosses them back on the bed. Grif just huffs and crosses his arms.__

__“Pft, yeah, because it looked like you were having such a restful sleep in the middle of that nightmare.” He only feels a little guilty asSimmons freezes, hands tightening on the bedding he was smoothing out._ _

__“What does that matter?” he coughs out. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of taking naps during the day while they send their lieutenants off to pick apart the mess hall. I need all the rest I can get.”_ _

__“With the amount of thrashing you were doing I’d say you were actually using up more energy than if you had stayed awake the whole night, dude,” he retorts. Simmons continues to face away from him._ _

__“Sooooo,” Grif tries again “You wanna go back to those bad dreams, or do you wanna come with me?” he steps closer and puts a hand on Simmons cold, robotic shoulder. He decides not to mention how the taller man’s form relaxes at the contact._ _

__“Come on Simmons, trust me on this. What’s the worst that could happen?”_ _

__“Famous last words,” he groans, but steps away and heads to his armor. He’s soon dressed, finishing the clasps on his helmet as he follows Grif out of the room._ _

__“So where exactly are we going?” he asks quietly._ _

__“It’s a surprise.”_ _

__“Because I swear to god if it’s the kitchen-“_ _

__“It’s not the kitchen!” Grif pauses, “Although, this late they may not be guarding the rations so heavily…”_ _

__“Grif,” Simmons warns and Grif holds up a hand to placate him. They turn a corner that leads away from the barracks, the light giving away to a brighter fluorescent white._ _

__“No, I promise it’s not the kitchen. That can wait for some other midnight raid,” Simmons huffs out an exasperated breath but Grif can tell that he’s more amused than anything else. They don’t say anything more for a while, passing a few soldiers but none spare them more than a few customary glances. The silence isn’t broken until they reach the vehicle storage facility._ _

__“Grif, why are we here?” He looks around at the assortment of Warthogs and Mongoose’s._ _

__“Isn’t it obvious? I thought you were meant to be the smart one Simmons.” Grif says as he heads to the back of the facility and out of sight._ _

__“Yeah, well, I’ve found that you tend to defy logic. And common sense,” he mutters to himself as Grif lets out an excited ‘Bingo!’ and then an engine sputters to life._ _

__Grif rounds the corner with the sorriest looking excuse for a functioning vehicle man has laid eyes upon. It’s riddled with bullet holes, and where the machine gun should have been there was only a ripped up metallic stump. The entire frame shakes unnaturally, and any gear changes result in a horrific grinding noise._ _

__Grif pulls up beside Simmons before patting the passenger seat expectantly. Simmons stares at the seat. Stares at Grif. Back to the seat. He turns on his heel and walks back the way they came._ _

__“Hey, where are you going?!” Grif calls out, getting out of the jeep and jogging up to the maroon soldier._ _

__“I’m going back to bed,” he grits out, not altering his stride._ _

__“Simmons, come on,” he grabs his arm and halts his progress. “Look it may not be the fanciest jeep-“_ _

__“That is not a jeep!” he screeches, voice high pitched in disbelief. He whirls around and points at the still sputtering car. “That is a death wish! God, I don’t know what I expected with you. You’d think that in this situation you’d actually mature a little and act like the soldier you should have been for the past six years, and instead you just pull shit like this! Christ Grif, this isn’t a damn game!”_ _

__The car chugged along in the background and Simmons stood panting and shaking. Neither noise alleviated the shocked silence that stretched between the two. Simmons breathes heavily, and Grif slowly lowers the arm Simmons threw off. After a second, Simmons’ aggressive posture slackens, his fists unclenching and he looks to the ground._ _

__“…Grif…”_ _

__The orange soldier says nothing, just walks back over to the jeep._ _

__“Grif?” Simmons asks, and there’s concern in his voice as he takes in his stiff movements. Grif pulls himself into the driver’s seat and turns off the ignition, the car groaning a few times before falling silent. He just sits there for a while, Simmons watching unsure._ _

__“I’m not an idiot,” Grif says suddenly, head down, almost as if he was speaking to himself rather than the other soldier. “Well, yeah I am. But not about this. I know how serious this is. And… and I fucking wish that it wasn’t, that none of us were in this fucked up situation. That we could get a goddamned break for once._ _

__“I just wanted it to not be serious again for a little bit, I guess,” he shrugs, shaking his head, playing it off. “But whatever man, it was stupid, let’s just forget it and get some rest.” He’s still staring blindly into his lap, and jumps slightly at the hand that suddenly appears on his shoulder. He looks up to see his own visor reflected in the golden wash of Simmons’._ _

__“I could go for something ‘not serious’ for a bit, if you’re offering.” Simmons says, and Grif can tell he’s got that unsure hopeful smile on his face, the one that easily breaks with rejection. Grif hums after a moment of just staring, Simmons hand still resting on him and he’s more pleased than he’s willing to admit to himself._ _

__He once more pats the passenger seat, “Guess it’s a date then.”_ _

__Simmons pauses and takes another look at the hulking mess of a jeep before sighing and heads around to clamber on board._ _

__“Do we have to take _this _Warthog?” Simmons asks dismayed.___ _

____“Well, it’s the only one so far I’ve successfully snatched the keys to,” he says, shaking them in the air for emphasis before putting them in the ignition. After a juddering start, the car sputters to life and he heads towards the hidden exit that leads towards the roads outside the New Republic’s base._ _ _ _

____“Shouldn’t this place be guarded?” Simmons asks as they head out._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, it’s probably my troops turn for that. I told ‘em to fuck it and take some time off.”_ _ _ _

____“Ugh, Grif,” Simmons groans, falling back against the headrest in defeat._ _ _ _

____“What? It’s not like any Feds are gonna show up around here, and no one in our army’s going to be taking these out in the middle of the night, they’d have to be crazy.” Grif responds. Simmons just gives him a pointed look as if to say ‘and what the fuck do you think we’re doing right now?’_ _ _ _

____“Well, yeah, but I mean we’re all about making stupid decisions.” Simmons covers his visor with his hands._ _ _ _

____“Kimball’s going to be pissed,” he mutters._ _ _ _

____“Ha, more than likely!” Grif laughs, as they make it out of the cave system and into the night air._ _ _ _

____xxx_ _ _ _

____They’ve been driving for close to thirty minutes in a comfortable, if unfamiliar silence, and Grif almost believes that Simmons is asleep until the other man stretches out his arms and looks up at the crescent moon that can just be made out between the trees._ _ _ _

____Grif hums to himself as he takes in his silent friend, and Simmons looks over._ _ _ _

____“What?”_ _ _ _

____“Huh, just figured you’d be asking me where we’re heading at this point.” Grif answers, eyes again on the road._ _ _ _

____“Would you tell me if I asked?” Grif smiles._ _ _ _

____“No.”_ _ _ _

____“And that’s why I didn’t ask,” Simmons says, and Grif lets out a soft laugh._ _ _ _

____They drive past some weathered rocks that in the glare of the headlights look crimson. A voice in his head tells him it’s just a certain type of stone, probably clay and completely natural, but Grif just thinks 'man, the whole earths been stained by this shitty war.’_ _ _ _

____They go over a particularly vicious bump in the road, and the storage compartment in the front of the passenger seat flies open on the impact. Simmons goes to close it as Grif rights their path, when Simmons suddenly exclaims._ _ _ _

____“You’ve got to be kidding me Grif!” he cries, as he grabs hold of an assortment of MRE’s and confectionary items._ _ _ _

____“Dude, put them back and close it! They’ll fall out in a minute!” Simmons shakes his head and sputters in incredulity but does as he’s told._ _ _ _

____“I can’t believe you’re still hoarding food after all this time,” he says arms crossed, more in disbelief than anger._ _ _ _

____“Please, I stash all sort of shit in this Warthog. Mostly because it’s never used with all the problems it’s got; the things practically been written off by the mechanics so no one goes near it. Hell, I’ve never actually given it a proper test run before.” The car gives another rattle and a red warning sign begins blinking. Simmons looks it over for a moment before slowly turning back to the road._ _ _ _

____“We’re gonna die in this thing,” he says solemnly._ _ _ _

____“We’re not gonna die from the Warthog.” Grif says back, insulted. “Compared to all the shit we’ve been through, that would be too easy. Trust me man, the universe isn’t done fucking with us yet.”_ _ _ _

____Simons sighs, “Yeah, we have been fucked a lot recently.”_ _ _ _

____Grif turns to look at him knowingly, and Simmons catches on to his accidental entendre._ _ _ _

____“I-I mean-!” he stutters out in that high pitched embarrassed squeak of his and Grif is grinning more than he has in weeks._ _ _ _

____He fakes a coughing fit and in between them mutters ‘virgin’. Simmons shoves at his head, hissing at him to shut up and Grif just laughs._ _ _ _

____xxx_ _ _ _

____“Well, here we are.” Grif says as he turns off the engine, and the sudden silence is a shock after the past hour with the clanking jeep. Simmons looks around unimpressed._ _ _ _

____“This is where you wanted to take me? Some barren cliff face?”_ _ _ _

____“What? Not romantic enough for you sweetheart?” he teases and Simmons scoffs._ _ _ _

____“Shut up. I just thought since you wanted to come here so bad it would be something…more. Why did you want to come here of all places?”_ _ _ _

____Grif reaches up and unclasps his helmet, taking in an unfiltered breath of the night air. He can feel the other soldier watching him intensely, but he doesn’t reprimand him for his obvious safety error out on the field, and for that Grif is grateful. He shakes out his overgrown hair and lays back against the headrest, looking up at the night sky illuminated with thousands of stars. And didn’t that take getting used to, actual night sky instead of the perpetual daylight back in the canyon._ _ _ _

____“Found this place the other day while out scouting. The official report we sent back labelled it as a ‘tactical outlook’, but I just figured it as a place to hide out for a bit from all the bullshit back in the city.”_ _ _ _

____Simmons hasn’t looked away from him._ _ _ _

____“And is that what we’re doing? Hiding?”_ _ _ _

____Grif just grunts vaguely, and leans into the back, rummaging around in one of the hidden compartments. He returns with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and ignoring Simmons’ protests lights one up and takes a long drag._ _ _ _

____“I’m not even going to bother. If I haven’t managed to stop you from sneaking cigarettes and wasting rations at this point, I don’t think I ever will,” he grumbles, and sinks further into his seat with his arms crossed. Grif breathes out, smoke curling around him. He casts a critical eye over his friend._ _ _ _

____“And that bothers you? Wasting our food?”_ _ _ _

____“What? Of course it would.”_ _ _ _

____Simmons sits up straight, head tilted questioningly and either he’s a very good actor or is just oblivious. Grif goes with the latter before reaching over and opens the compartment with his stash of snacks. He grabs a couple of packs of cookies and even some fruit which has Simmons confused (the only type of fruit Simmons can remember Grif eating is an apple pie from some substandard fast food joint, and even then he mostly ate around the filling and filled up on the sugared pastry)._ _ _ _

____Grif exits the vehicle and heads over to the cliff edge, which has Simmons getting antsy if his straightened posture is anything to go by. He sits down on the very edge, legs hanging over the precipice and he’s never been a fan of heights but he’s even less fond of the claustrophobia that seems to stick with him recently back at base. And when Simmons eventually comes over and sits with him, the sprawling jungle laid at their feet almost looks like a sun bleached canyon with the right amount of imagination, and Grif can almost pretend that they are exactly where they were six years ago._ _ _ _

____They take comfort in the silence for a while before a brush of wind rattles the cookie packets Grif still has next to him. Simmons shakes his head and hums, and Grif tilts his head questioningly._ _ _ _

____“I don't even know where you got this, I don't think they manufacture Oreos on this planet.”_ _ _ _

____“Hey, you should know when it comes to food, I have my ways,” he tosses an apple to Simmons, and he only just has the reflexes quick enough to catch it before it fumbles out of his hands and over the cliff face. Grif is pretty sure he’s just shocked that he’s actually sharing his stash. Simmons looks down at the fruit, expression unreadable beneath his helmet, and Grif sighs,_ _ _ _

____“It’s an apple. You eat it.”_ _ _ _

____“I know what to do with an apple Grif,” he shoots back, insulted. “I’m just not hungry,” he says, and places it down._ _ _ _

____“Yeah. Just like at every meal time I’ve seen you at for the past two weeks. When you actually show up anyway.” Simmons becomes rigid, Grif’s pretty sure he’s stopped breathing for a second until he suddenly takes in a quiet shaky breath. Grif frowns, knowing Simmons and see the expression on his face but he doesn’t care because he’s so tired of a lot of things, but especially this. Whatever _this _is.___ _ _ _

______“Thought I wouldn’t notice? I’m not an idiot, Simmons. Not about you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He’s never been a patient man and he can’t take this stupid self-punishment of Simmons any longer. The other man is still frozen, breath hitched and damn it, he looks like he’s scared of some kind of retribution. From Grif of all people. Like he’s really in any place to judge._ _ _ _ _ _

______He flicks the man’s helmet in exasperation and Simmons jumps violently._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You could have at least given your rations to me, dude.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Simmons remains just as tense, and Grif is just so done with all of this._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Now come on. You're no good for a rescue mission if you die of starvation beforehand.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Nothing happens, and Grif’s worried he’s fucked it all up for good, until Simmons hesitantly removes his helmet, running an armoured hand through his red hair. His skin is almost white beneath his freckles, and even with only half a human expression he looks tired. Grif nudges him gently and he takes a small bite of the apple with a grimace._ _ _ _ _ _

______Grif sits back satisfied and continues smoking, focusing on the cherry glow of the sticks embers. It’s quiet between them, nothing but the sounds of Simmons slowly but surely making his way through his apple. Grif finishes his cigarette and immediately takes out another to light. Simons shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Those things will kill you. Hell, Sarge would kill you if he saw you right now you know,” he says quietly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eh, Sarge is always finding excuses to use me as target practice.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Still, you really want to give him more reason to?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, it’s a good thing Sarge isn’t here right now then.” Grif mutters. Simmons stops eating. The wind rustles his hair and Grif has a stupid urge to run a hand through it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Grif, what… if we cant find them what do-“_ _ _ _ _ _

______“We’ll find them.” Grif cuts him off because of course they will, they’re on this planet somewhere, and until they find them they can’t leave. Grif will be damned if he never gets to see Hawaii one last time, his sister one last time. That’s just not an option at this point. Simmons is looking at him, and he has this tragic understanding look on his face that makes Grif either want to kiss him or hit him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And what happens if we find them, but they’re… gone. What do we do then?” Grif hunches in on himself because, yeah, he definitely wants to punch the bastard now._ _ _ _ _ _

______“We just, God, we keep moving, keep going,” and Simmons is shaking his head, his robotic eye flashing back and forth with the motion._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Grif lets out a deep, humorless laugh. “I have no fucking clue.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Simmons places the apple down half eaten, red skin giving away to white flesh, browning slightly where the indents of teeth tore through it._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Fuck Dex, I’m scared. Really fucking scared."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Grif takes a long drag of his cigarette with a steady hand as if the smoke can somehow smother the deep ache that accompanies those words._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Me too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Simmons looks down, breathing erratic and Grif knows he's close to tears but he doesn't say anything. Instead he just opens the packet of cookies and holds one out to his friend._ _ _ _ _ _

______Their fingers brush when Simmons eventually accepts it, and after taking a bite Grif leans against him before taking one for himself._ _ _ _ _ _

______Simmons curls up, one arm hugging his knees, his free one on the ground between them and his head pressed up against Grif’s. Grif looks down at the hand, places his own on top of it. Simmons continues gazing sightlessly out over the valley and turns his over to entwine their fingers._ _ _ _ _ _

______Later Kimball will berate them for taking off and setting a bad example to her troops, but Tucker will say that Grif’s soldiers actually got some work done that day so maybe Grif should go MIA more often (of course Grif had left him a message. He’s not so cruel to vanish on a man whose team had done just that). Grif will be pissed that no one saves him any breakfast, and Simmons will stutter his way through an explanation to his concerned lieutenants. But for a moment there's a sun rising over a planet soaked in red, and there are two soldiers smothered in crumbs and each other, and for a little while that's just enough._ _ _ _ _ _

______The dark sky gives way to purple, and they head back._ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I see Grif and Simmons' relationship as close and occasionally intimate (i.e. You know they've totally made out more than once), but ultimately they wouldn't say they're together. That said, they're really not interested in anyone else. Much as they clash, there's an unspoken bond that they have and both crave comfort from.


End file.
